12 Steps to Dealing With Your Girl Scout Cookie Addiction
Girl Scout cookie season is upon us, one of our favorite times of year! But if you’re troubled by your astonishing appetite for the sweet treats, we’ve come up with a 12-step program to get you through the worst of it.
Apologies to Alcoholics Anonymous for corrupting their 12 steps.
… you are powerless before the cookies, and eat another box.
… that Girl Scout cookies are a power greater than yourself and that they can restore you to sanity, so you eat another box.
… to show stronger willpower, but starting tomorrow, because you want to eat another box right now.
After an inventory of your remaining cookie stash, buy a few more boxes.
… that the purchase of three boxes of Lemonades was wrong; you should have gotten more S’mores.
… that the Lemonades must be removed, so eat all three boxes.
Humbly ask your local Girl Scout if she has any more Thin Mints.
Make a list of people you appreciate but may not acknowledge as you should, and give them each a box of Thanks-a-Lots.
… a few boxes of Caramel Delites and Peanut Butter Sandwiches to share with your co-workers. Don’t forget a box of gluten-free Trios for the health-conscious colleague down the hall.
… your inventory again, this time focusing on getting more Peanut Butter Patties and Shortbreads.
… through the haze of your sugar high, to improve your connection with your local Girl Scout Troop to ensure a steady supply of cookies.
After you crash from your sugar high, rush out to purchase even more boxes, this time making sure to hide some deep in the freezer and labeled for removal in a few months. Because, if a Girl Scout cookie addiction is your biggest problem, is that so bad?