Some of us really love the heat. and this weekend was magical for them. For the rest of us, we have to grin and bear it, so please, pull these on your friends and co-workers!

  • It’s so hot I saw a bee take off his yellow jacket!
  • It’s so hot, I just saw a fire hydrant chasing a dog at Soldiers Field.
  • It’s so hot, my mom bought bread at Hy-Vee, and when she got home, it was toasted!
  • It’s so hot, I was at the beach and saw one Hormel pig say to another Hormel pig, “It’s so hot, I’m bacon!”
  • Boy, it’s hot. You wanna know how hot? I was at a farm in Harmony the other day and it’s so hot the chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs!
  • It’s so hot, birds are using pot-holders to pull worms out of the ground!
  • It’s so hot, Satan took the day off!
  • It’s so hot, I just made a pitcher of instant sun tea!
  • It’s so hot, my car was overheated before I drove it!
  • It’s so hot, all my whole family was branded by the seat belts!
  • It’s hotter than a billy goat in a pepper patch.
  • It’s so hot I saw two trees fighting over a dog.
  • It's hotter than the hinges on the gates of hell.
  • It is so hot, I saw a dog chasing a cat in Country Club Manor, and they were both walking.
  • It is so hot, the cows are giving evaporated milk.
  • It is so hot, I went outside for a smoke and the cigarette lit itself!
  • It is so hot, I'm sweating like a politician on election day!

Listen to James Rabe 6a to 10a on Y-105 FM, and 2p to 6p on 103.9 The Doc.