James Rabe, President of the Dead Smurf Association [Picture]
I was in line at Aldi's at Crossroads, and the woman ahead of me was talking to her friend about "kids today" and their dirty dancing. And it sent me back to 2010 when a high school set up dancing rules that included, "no sexual bending."
It brought back so many memories. Not dance memories since I attended about, oh, only five dances (I wasn’t what you would call, “popular” or “someone girls wanted to be seen with”).
More on memories in a second. First check out this story about then new dance rules at a school just south of Milwaukee.
UNION GROVE – New dancing rules have some Union Grove High School students boycotting next weekend’s winter formal…The new rules (mean) students and their guests will be videotaped during the dance and they must avoid specific provocative dance moves…”It’s really taking away a lot of the fun,” said Union Grove graduate Christian Tuinstra, 20.
You can see all the rules here, but my favorite is, “When dancing back to front, all dancers must remain upright. No sexual bending is allowed.” Sexual bending? Love it! I have a feeling students will be trying to get away with some sexual bending. How much sexual bending, I do not know, but some sexual bending to be sure. It’s just high school human nature to try to get away with breaking the rules, especially when you have a rule against sexual bending.
I never tried sexual bending, but I did get away with a few things.
First, there was the car chase game that went very wrong. After getting my dad’s car unstuck from between a gas pump and a metal pole, we went racing down a street and, suddenly, this police cruiser appeared out of nowhere. They pulled me over and ticketed me for going the wrong way on a one way street and snagged me for no proof of insurance, too (how I snuck the proof of insurance out of, and back into, my dad’s office is a blog for another day).
Then, there were the Dead Smurf Association Gatherings. I had this little club of Smurf
haters that got together now and then for some adult type beverages and conversation. At one, my friends and I bought a ‘Smurf Village” cut-out book, built the village, doused it in gasoline and threw a match on it. Foof! Up went the village, right there in my mom and dad’s driveway.
At another, one of the guys bought and assembled a model rocket, packed a Smurf into it and, at the Washington Grade School playground, launched that sucka into space. Sadly, the gathering came to a premature end when Paul, the saddest trouble maker ever, arrived just in time to pour gas on the gravel in the shape of the Dead Smurf Assoc. logo and lit it on fire! Yes, we had a logo. That’s how cool we were.
How ’bout you? What did you get away with?