James Rabe’s New Character, Agnes the Fitting Room Attendant (Video)

Back in the day, I didn't like shopping for back to school clothes because my mom shopped at Woolworth's, a discount store in my hometown, and the lady that ran the fitting rooms icked me out. here's how.

Now, this is 100% true. I was in grade school and every time we went to that store for clothes, I'd try on pants and Agnes, the gal in charge of the fitting rooms (who musta been 100!), was smoking a cigarette or chewing gum (or both!) and she'd wait for me to come out and comment on the fit.

"Oh, Ann...I think that's just too tight in the crotch, don't you? The next size up won't be so snug in the crotch."

Always with the crotch.

She wasn't trying to be creepy, it's just the way she talked...and it creeped me out.

Lady, that's my crotch, please stop talking about it so much. I don't want people staring at me and then...there!

So, that's where Agnes came from. My childhood.