Let’s Play Two Truths and a Lie

I used to go to the Aquarius Club a lot (later it became the Wicked Moose). I danced a...lot. One night, two women kinda just danced on over and danced with me in the middle. We were laughing and dancing and suddenly I feel a hand grabbing hold in a place it did NOT belong.

I said, "What are you doing?"

She said, "Just curious..." and they danced away.

Was at Mystic Lake Casino. Had just seen Tony Bennet in concert (it was great)! I walk into the restroom and am standing up doing my bidness when I hear a ziiiip. I look over and Tony Bennett is peeing next to me! I finish, washing my hands slowly to time it right, and when he's drying his hands, I say, "I think My Favorite Things is the most perfectly sung and produced Christmas song of all time."

He smiles, shakes my hand and says, "Thanks...for the compliment and for waiting 'til I was done peeing."

Back in the 90's, I was on 52 to The Cities around 3 AM. A little red Le Mans was pulled over on the side of the road near Li'l Oscar's restaurant. She didn't have a spare tire in the trunk, but there were a LOT of feather boas, a leather teddy, a school girl's costume, and some handcuffs. A few minutes later, in my car, I finally asked her.

"Whatdya do?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm a secretary, but I got behind on my bills so I'm trying to earn some extra cash dancing in Cannon Falls."

Which explained the leather n'stuff.

"How's it work, does he pay a salary?"

"You rent the space to dance each night, a lot like hair stylists'll rent a chair in a salon, only I take off my clothes instead of cut hair. Oh, here's Super America, honey, have a great night! Keep your t--s up!"