Tomorrow morning I'll be playing Two Truths and a Lie around 7:40 with these stories. Read 'em, and tomorrow morning get ready to call 292-1053 to tell me which one is the lie!

ps - The kitten was just to get your attention.

 

  • 1

    The Aquarius Club Bad Touch

    I used to go to the Aquarius Club a lot (later it became the Wicked Moose). I danced a...lot. One night, two women kinda just danced on over and danced with me in the middle. We were laughing and dancing and suddenly I feel a hand grabbing hold in a place it did NOT belong.

    I said, "What are you doing?"

    She said, "Just curious..." and they danced away.

  • 2

    The Famous Guy in the Next Stall

    Was at Mystic Lake Casino. Had just seen Tony Bennet in concert (it was great)! I walk into the restroom and am standing up doing my bidness when I hear a ziiiip. I look over and Tony Bennett is peeing next to me! I finish, washing my hands slowly to time it right, and when he's drying his hands, I say, "I think My Favorite Things is the most perfectly sung and produced Christmas song of all time."

    He smiles, shakes my hand and says, "Thanks...for the compliment and for waiting 'til I was done peeing."

  • 3

    The Lesson in Stripping

    Back in the 90's, I was on 52 to The Cities around 3 AM. A little red Le Mans was pulled over on the side of the road near Li'l Oscar's restaurant. She didn't have a spare tire in the trunk, but there were a LOT of feather boas, a leather teddy, a school girl's costume, and some handcuffs. A few minutes later, in my car, I finally asked her.

    "Whatdya do?" I asked.

    "Oh, I'm a secretary, but I got behind on my bills so I'm trying to earn some extra cash dancing in Cannon Falls."

    Which explained the leather n'stuff.

    "How's it work, does he pay a salary?"

    "You rent the space to dance each night, a lot like hair stylists'll rent a chair in a salon, only I take off my clothes instead of cut hair. Oh, here's Super America, honey, have a great night! Keep your t--s up!"