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My Son Got Mistaken For A Celebrity

…Or, it’s pretty amazing what a haircut will do for a kid’s appearance!

Ethan's new haircut From the Bergchives
Ethan’s new haircut
From the Bergchives

When I was in middle school – we called it junior high, then – a girl once told me I looked like actor John Malkovich. To this day I’m really not sure if that was a compliment or not. You’ve seen the movies John Malkovich has been in, right? The characters he usually plays are bad guys. Scary, psycho bad guys. What was this girl trying to tell me anyway? That I was scary and creepy?

In high school, I was told that I looked like Elton John. I guess that’s pretty cool.

I guess I could have made a career as a celebrity impersonator. Doing a one-man show as both Elton John and John Malkovich. A musical review called Killing You Softly With His Song, Elton John Malkovich.

My boy, Ethan, got a haircut a week or two back. He went into work after school – he works over t’ the car wash behind the hardware store on 37th Street, y’know just up the road apiece from the Hy Vee there. The girls that work there with him, they said he looked like some kind ‘a’ celebrity with his new haircut.

He was all excited when he told me.

You know that singer, Bruno Omar?”

Bruno Omar? I’m not sure I know who you’re talkin’ about, son.

The singer! Bruno Omar.”

Okay. They say you look like this singer- Do they maybe mean Bruno Mars?

Yeah, that’s who they think I look like!”

Okay, take a look at my boy’s new haircut. Now look at Bruno Omar. He looks just him, doesn’t he? Now, his mom doesn’t see it. But I’m kinda willing to pay along.

What do you think?

The 59th GRAMMY Awards -  Roaming Show
Getty Images for NARAS

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