Never Say Never
Two years ago if you'd have told me that in the fall of 2016 I would have to choose between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton for President, it would've been quite upsetting and I wouldn't have believed it. However something even MORE troubling has also come to pass; I am being forced to defend the honor of clowns.
"I would NEVER come to the defense of clowns!" -Tracy McCray 1978-2016
WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO? Me- the person who has always steered clear of clowns- is ready to stand up and demand we as a society lay off the clowns?!
Sure there are weirdos out there who have been hanging out in public places dressed like clowns after dark in an effort to freak us out or to entertain us at parades and children's birthday parties. The line between goofy clowns and troublesome clowns is very, very thin my friends, and that will never change.
What has changed however, is that parents have completely lost their minds. Previously, if a clown was walking through my neighborhood, parents would size Clowny up and then tell their kids to stay away from the weirdo. What we would NOT do is call the police. However, a combination of ridiculous amounts of media coverage and viral social media postings have warped parent's brains as to the threat-level that clowns represent.
Stores are pulling clown masks from the shelves, pro-clown events are being shut down because of death threats, and in some parts of the country it is illegal to dress like a clown until November 1st. (I don't know about you, but the time of the year I am least surprised to see a clown is Halloween, so this one really doesn't make sense.)
This week in Lino Lakes, Minnesota, an elderly man has been dressing up as a different character each day and waving at the elementary and middle school kids as they pass by on the bus. Apparently, something he has been doing for years. One day he was a bunny, one day a pig and then... A CLOWN.
This led to Lino Lakes Superintendent of School, Brian Dietz to issue a memo to parents and staff that states:
We received a report of a person dressed in a clown suit. The sighting occurred from a bus window while students were en route to school. There was no physical contact between the person and our students.
If your student is concerned or disturbed about the (clown) sighting, please don't hesitate to contact the counseling office so your student can feel supported during the day.
We've got to pull ourselves together, America! This is embarrassing...
Parents, for the sake of your children, stop overreacting to the imagined danger that a clown represents! (Unless that clown is Justin Bieber, then remain on guard. I'm still not sure if we know exactly what he's up to.)
Let your freak flag fly, Clowny!