Five Things You Don’t Want to Hear On a Minnesota Farm
It was a great weekend on the farm, but as a city kid, there are times I'm totally lost. I'd walk into conversations that and have to scratch my head. "Are they being dirty or is that farm slang?"
So, let's go thru a few of the confusing moments I experienced as my girlfriend's family gathered for Memorial Day on the family farm just outside Fairmont, Minnesota.
"Anthony was delicious!"
Walking up from the basement, I opened the kitchen door to hear "Oh yeah, Anthony was delicious!" and "He was so cute, but we had to eat him, didn't we?"
- They saw my face, and I learned Anthony was a steer. You named the animals you were going to eat? Yep. I guess it's a thing.
"It's So Big I Can Barely Get My Mouth Around It"
I was sitting there for this one, but apparently didn't hear the beginning. We were having lunch, but that doesn't mean much. The stories fly in Diana's family and the topic changes all the time. I hear, "Its so big i can barely get my mouth around it!" "Just squeeze and it'll fit." "Don't jam it in."
- I look up, and one of the sisters has a burger staged just outside her mouth, and she's trying to figure out how to eat it.
"She Must Have Been Desperate If She Put THAT In Her Mouth!"
This could literally have been anything. I come out of the bathroom to hear, "She must’ve been desperate if she put THAT in her mouth." and my first thought was Diana as a baby trying to eat a dog or cat.
- Nope...cough drop from the bottom of a sister's purse. It'd been there a while, the wrapper on, but super sticky and hard to peel off....but when you're coughing in church, you're desperate...
"No, You Twist, Jiggle, Shove, And Turn!"
Again, walked into the room to hear many suggestions on how to 'get it in.'
- How to get the key to the SHOP in the lock and open. You have to twist, jiggle, shove, and turn!" and wah-lah, the door opens. Or you win Boppit?
"Oh, We Used To Put That In The Holiest Of Holy's"
Where I come from the Holiest of Holy's is...umm...well, you know! So I heard that and once again, my mind thought, "This is NOT a dirty minded family...so whaaaat?
- The living room no one was allowed to go in unless you were a guest. You dusted it, you vacuumed it, you kept it in perfect order in CASE company came over. But the kids? They were NOT allowed in.
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