I wear hearing aids. I abused the heck out of my ears with headphones PLUS a hereditary kidney disease messed 'em up, too. Wanna know a secret? 

I wish I had 'em when I lived here before. I didn't get any ear help until I lived in Fargo, and once I could hear again, I discovered everyone else wasn't mumbling. Well, some of  'em probably were, but most were clear and loud. It was literally a night/day kind of thing.

If you think everyone's mumbling, get your ears checked. And I'll give you two good reasons.

a) Hearing your family and friends is awesome. You're part of the conversation again. You're not blowing everyone out with the TV volume, and your relationships improve.

ii) Once you have hearing aids, you can make great jokes like this!

See? Totally worth it!