Lady Gaga Reveals She Was Left Pregnant After Being Raped as a Teenager
Lady Gaga revealed that she was left pregnant after being raped as a teenager.
During their conversation, Gaga spoke openly about being sexually assaulted, which she first publicly disclosed in 2014.
Content warning below // sexual violence
"I was 19 years old, and I was working in the business, and a producer said to me, 'Take your clothes off,'" she recalled. "And I said no. And I left, and they told me they were going to burn all of my music. And they didn't stop. They didn't stop asking me, and I just froze and I just — I don't even remember."
Gaga recalled that immediately following the attack, she felt pain before going completely numb.
"And then I was sick for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks after, and I realized that it was the same pain that I felt when the person who raped me dropped me off pregnant on a corner at my parents' house because I was vomiting and sick. Because I'd been being abused. I was locked away in a studio for months," she revealed, adding that the pain she experienced resulted in a "psychotic break."
"I've had so many MRIs and scans where they don't find nothing. But your body remembers. I couldn't feel anything, I disassociated. It's like your brain goes offline," Gaga explained, describing the feeling as a "black cloud that is following you wherever you go, telling you that you're worthless and should die."
Gaga also disclosed that she self-harmed after the attack, something that only made her feel worse: "You think you're gonna feel better because you're showing somebody, 'Hey, look, I'm in pain.' It doesn't help. I always tell people, 'Tell somebody, don't show somebody.'"
According to the singer, recovery is a lifelong process that should be taken seriously. She added that "even if I have six brilliant months, all it takes is getting triggered once to feel bad, and when I say feel bad, I mean, wanna cut, think about dying."
Gaga advised that anyone who experiences a traumatic event find a person who makes them feel valid in expressing their trauma. She also wants others to understand that the healing process is not a straightforward process: "Everybody thinks [healing] is a straight line, that it's just like every other virus. That you get sick and then you get cured. But it's not like that, it's just not like that," she concluded.
Though Gaga shared that she does not plan to name her attacker publicly, as she doesn't want to interact with her abuser ever again, she added that has the utmost respect for survivors who do call out their abusers by name.