Hard But Important: Rochester Mom’s Love Letter to Miscarried Moms

10th Anniversary Edition of Rochester Mom's Book to Help Miscarried Moms

Love Letters to Miscarried Moms is a book Rochester, Minnesota mom Samantha Evans wrote not long after she miscarried and realized there just wasn't much material out there for moms like her.

About 10 to 20 percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. But the actual number is likely higher because many miscarriages occur very early in pregnancy — before you might even know about a pregnancy. (Mayo Clinic)

Highlights of the Samantha Evans Interview

James Rabe - How did you come to write Love Letters to Miscarried Moms

Samantha Evans - So I miscarried in 2009 and then started journaling a lot about my feelings and things I was feeling and thinking, and the journals ended up turning into a book at some point.

JR - I think most of us are, "Oh, I'm so sorry you miscarried. Hey, let's go bowling!"

SE - Absolutely. I definitely was in that camp before I miscarried. I'm like, oh, she had a miscarriage. Oh, sad. Oh, sad. But then you move on with your life. Right? There's a whole different perspective because for the family that lost a child, they were making plans. And so you make a lot of room for a baby before the baby comes and your heart and your house and your life. And I think people take that for granted. The miscarriage itself was one of the darkest things I've ever experienced.

JR - You miscarried at home and didn't go to the doctor?

SE - I didn't go to the doctor until the next day, which I would not recommend to people actually. My husband was begging to take me to the ER, I'm like, no, my body's doing what it's supposed to be doing. It's okay...the doctor's not gonna be able to fix it...It's done. So why bother <laugh>? And I was also really not thinking clearly, cuz the, I mean the grief was instant and awful

JR - One of the new things in the 10th Anniversary edition of Love Letters to Miscarried Moms is the chapter on sucker punch comments.

Hit play to hear Samantha's response (or scroll to keep reading)...

SE - Yeah. So there's a whole chapter on sucker punch comments. Actually, it's basically just a whole list of stupid things that people say. One, he was a teenager, so God bless him. But he said "I guess God changed his mind. Huh?" And I was like, oh, okay. <laugh> thanks kid.

Or "at least it wasn't a real baby"...no, it was real cuz I was pregnant. I definitely was pregnant. So that's one of the things I say in the book is that I just remind women that the baby was real because the pregnancy was real."

You can hear the entire show, including both segments with Samantha Evans, just click play (and subscribe to my podcast, please).

Where Can I Get the Book?

There will be some signings coming up, but for now, you can pick up Love Letters to Miscarried Moms: Written in the Midst of My Grief So That You Will Not Be Alone in Yours here.

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As always, if you have a comment, complaint, or concern about something I wrote here, please let me know: james.rabe@townsquaremedia.com