How to get a snow day: Minnesota style

Snow days.  These are a mystery, really.  Rumor is that there are a few things you can do to help make sure that your school is one that shows up on our "school closings" report.

These snow days are truly a natural phenomenon that I have yet to understand.  First of all, we don't know when they are going to happen.  We also don't know where - because the weather just seems to be a guess most days.  And when will we be told?  Will we know the night before or will we be woken up with text messages and phone calls at 4:30am?  See, it is a true mystery.

In Minnesota, we take these days very seriously.  Kids in Iowa have already had a snow day due to cold temps.  Us, we know our kids can withstand -24 degrees whipping at their faces.  In fact, our high schoolers can still be found wearing shorts and t-shirts in the dead of winter.  Think that is tough?  We don't even need roads here since we all have a snowmobile, so you know it is bad when we can't load our kids up on those and get them to school.

Our kids deserve a snow day though and here are a few things they can do tonight to help make sure their school is listed on our website in the morning.

Brush your teeth with "special" snow day water - grab some snow from outside and melt it down on the stove into water.  Use only that water to brush your teeth before you go to bed.

Wear your polar bear pj's inside out.  We don't do just regular pj's here.  We know those bears are right outside our windows as we sleep.  Since we all own flannel polar bear pj's, turn those inside out and then wave to the bear outside before you go to bed.

Eat Ice Cream before bed.  Because we are in the frozen tundra, only ice cream with moose, fish, bears or some sort of "lake" reference is allowed.

Only sleep on flannel sheets.  (if you have polar bear flannel sheets...extra 5 points!).  Let's be honest, the flannel was pulled out of storage in September...so you are probably already doing this one.

The "snow day" pledge.  Recite these "snow day" words three times in less than 30 seconds as you stand outside.  If you can't make it in 30 seconds, try again.

Snow day

school's closed and I can't wait

Go outside

and I just might

get into a snowball fight!

- Jimmy Fallon's "snowball" song

 

Finish all of your homework by 7pm.  Yes, you read that right.  This one is strictly enforced by the snow day police.  (parents, you are welcome.  Maybe use your finger to cover this part when you show your kids.)

Don't go to the grocery store.  You already know you have enough deer meat and turkey in the deep freezer or cellar...we don't need to waste our time getting more food.  All that hunting in the fall was really just to prepare our tables for these days.

Check the Snow Day Calculator every 5 minutes.  www.snowdaycalculator.com  This is now your favorite website (besides this one, of course).

Some of the classic snow day tips that might be worth a try are below:

• Put a spoon under your pillow.
• Turn your pillowcase inside out.
• Brush your teeth with the opposite hand.
• At bedtime, sleep with the curtains closed.
• Put one ice cube in the toilet for every inch of snow you want to get.
• Shake a snow globe every time you walk past one.
• Throw ice cubes out the window.
• Put a penny under your pillow.
• Put a white crayon on every windowsill in your house.
• Run around your dining room 12 times.
• Wear a colored sock on your left foot but not on your right.
• Do a snow dance.