<p>I went to his place and talked to him and his oldest son, turns out that the gaming device thing was a lie.</p><p> </p>

On Monday, July 5th, I shared the story below and the poster updated us! It may not be all we hope for, but it's a relief. 

Am I the Jerk Head Crap Face for refusing to let my boyfriend have my bank account info to make a purchase? That's the question u/Dices1433 asks on Reddit.  I say no way no how, but what do you say?


Here's the update -

Wow so, I've left this thread after the first hour but got back to hundreds of people engaging...Wow I'm just amazed. And since many of you wanted to know what happened, I went to his place and talked to him and his oldest son, turns out that the gaming device thing was a lie. He wanted the money for something else, to help pay for one of his buddy's car repairs.

(JAMES HERE: I think this is also a lie, why truest a lying liar?)

I was shocked when he confessed and said he had to lie and make it about his kids to get me to lend him the money. You can only imagine my reaction after this, I just blew up at him and left without giving him any chance to respond.

He tried calling my phone (still trying) but I decided I want some space to think about what happened and really re-evaluate our relationship. It's true that he had me pay for the kids in the past but after what I found I wouldn't put it past him that those $30-60 purchases weren't for the kids as I haven't seen the stuff he said he bought for them.

Tomislav Forgo ThinkStock
Tomislav Forgo ThinkStock


I'm in need of some space and quiet though I'm busy with work but I do my best to stay focused. I, quite frankly am no longer sure if I could move past's just so unsettling that he has no issue lying to me and USING me for money like that.

I love the kids, I ADORE them but him? He's hurt me with what I did and I'm not sure I could come back from it. I might just be upset right now and will need time...I don't know....yeah...I'm just going to do a lot of thinking regarding this situation and see what happens.

Sorry for the long text but I wanted to let you know about the situation as a whole.

Quick Note On Her Response

If you were a friend of hers, how would you react? The Rochester Women's Shelter says in this interview, the best move is to be her friend. Telling her she needs to dump the guy once is fine, but you being the one NOT ordering her around is what she really needs.

Click play to hear the entire conversation with Jeannie T on the Y-105FM Early Morning Show. (Click here for an automatically generated transcript

Am I The Jerk Head Crap Face?

Am I the Jerk Head Crap Face for refusing to let my boyfriend have my bank account info to make a purchase? That's the question u/Dices1433 asks on Reddit.  I say no way no how, but what do you say?


Dices and her boyfriend have been dating for 8 months and things have been pretty good. They don't live together (yay!) and, "When it comes to money and spending, we'd take turns to invite each other out weekly...Several times he had me pay for his kid's purchases. I didn't make a big issue out of it for the sole reason that those purchases were relatively small, all I had to pay was $30-60."

This Sounds Like  A Sound Couple With Good Boundaries, So What's the Problem?

He's upset with her for NOT sharing her bank info with him. Like, really upset. Weirdly upset. Red Flag upset. Here's what she says,"

"The other day, he called me while I was at work and sounded like he was in a hurry. He said he just found the gaming device he's been looking for for so long and wanted to buy it for his oldest son...he told me he was short on money and needed $300. I...agreed. He asked for my bank account info so he could pull the money but I refused and told him to wait for me til I get there."

Ahhhh....she a) said no and ii) showed she is smart about finances and her banking information. He didn't like that and shouted at her, which made her certain she made the right decision, she says, "I still said no and told him to either wait or I won't pay." he kept being loud, so she hung up.

attachment-Child Imitating Shouty McShout Pants

Fast forward to the end of the day, she's getting home and there's Mr. Shouty waiting for her, still made. The conversation was basically...

Mr. Shouty - "Why didn't you just send me the account info so I could pull the money we agreed on?"

Dices - "I don't feel comfortable letting anyone have my personal info especially when it comes to finances."

Shouty McShoutShout - "I'M NOT JUST ANYONE, I'M YOUR (BEEPING) PARTNER! I ended up not paying for the gaming device after all that time searching for it and now my kid is mad at me and it's your fault!"


When he took off, he said she'd better not call him unless it's to apologize and now she's wondering if she's the Jerk Head Crap Face and should apologize.



First, no. I'm telling you this. A radio guy on the internet machine, so you know it's a good answer. But @patchgrrl said it best...

"NOT the JHCF at all. OP set a reasonable boundary and he went ballistic. Waiting outside the home was a manipulative tactic. Refusing her entry/hospitality/safety and insisting on airing their argument street level to try to make her feel embarrassed on top of it. His behavior screams scammer, scummy, not worth the money. Run honey."

Was McShouts Going to Do Something Far Worse?

Rabe / Canva
Rabe / Canva

DogsReadingBooks pointed out something I was suspecting, "He was definitely gonna take more than 300 bucks." Obviously, we can't prove just seems so sketchy.

My personal theory is there was no toy. He's a no-good-low-down cheater and he needed the money for the other person. Or something else, maybe illicit substances, gambling debt...who knows?

What do you think? 

As always, if you have a comment, complaint, or concern about something I wrote here, please let me know:

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